Studying the past had become a most interesting thing for me over the years. Once I realized that human beings have not changed within the last 100,000+ years, it brought me to the realization that we are not better, nor worse for that matter, than our closer nor distant ancestors. We are very much them, with different environmental conditions, technology, language, etc. Some would like to think that we know more than those in the past or are better. I have found this not to be so.
Many of us still seek to be fulfilled in the different areas of our lives, even in the same ways. Culture, I found, is paramount in how we deal with one another, regardless of ethnicity. Culture is far too important to ignore. Along with culture, a premise is needed to operate from that can give us a basic understanding of respect, trust, and safety in dealing with one another. That is why government was important as well. To ensure that the basic rights of people, not be violated at will. The beauty of the idea of America, United States, as a free society, is freedom of association, freedom to choose one’s own path in life. We have the freedom to deal with one another, and the freedom not too. Freedom brings a certain level of responsibility as well. If one person’s expression of freedom doesn’t infringe upon another’s expression of freedom, then we should have no problem living in relative ‘harmony.’ Whether or not this plays out, well, you decide.
In the writings, monuments, and other relics from the past, we have a window into the lives of those who have gone before us. Whether we are reincarnated, as some believed, or not, one understanding was the passing on of genes, i.e., offspring. If people could reproduce, they could have a certain level of comfort knowing that they would live on through their offspring. The mating games today are no different than in the past. We see it play out all the time. Many of our laws are biologically driven. One thing that I found out over the years, is that no matter what your spiritual preference or otherwise, it will never account for or trump biology. Self-preservation is more of a reality than many would like to sit down, think about, and admit. Our ancestors were no different.
Peace is something many say that they want. Yet, when you study the past, the only time peace came, was after a period of war. Some believe that violence will cease to exist. I am of opinion, that there will be periods where violence will increase and periods where it will decrease. But if nature is a duality as some of the ancestors suggested, then you cannot have one without the other.
In learning through studying the past, I have had the privilege of being able to look back over my own life, have experiences to test my learning, and have come to many realizations about life. You cannot get it all in one life. Perhaps as some of the ancestors believed, we do to come back. Or the reason could be that they were afraid of dying so that they had to create something in their minds to help them cope with the fact that they one day will have to pass on like those before them. Some teach against defense mechanisms. I believe that some mechanisms are healthy, while others are not. I still hold true to myself what M. Scott Peck stated in “The Road Less Travelled” and in “People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil”,
“Mental health is the ongoing dedication to reality at all costs”
I had seen where some ancestors state that the world and time were created together, and that time would cease to exist when/if the world ceased to exist. I had seen some modern ones’ state that time is not real or to be regarded as important. If it is true that time isn’t real, then one would have to accept that the past, present and future are the same and that studying the past is key to understanding that. Regardless of this, the past is too important to ignore in my estimation of things. I have escaped many ills, saved much time and money, and have become a better person overall while studying the past. The past records have everything concerning the lives of those who lived before us. It’s not just about reading history. No, it’s about learning what was important to those before us as to why they went through all the trouble to pass it down to us, even to the point of death. If someone was willing to give their life for me to know something, then I think it is more than admirable to see what they had to say. Especially if it’s a chance that that person or persons blood has travelled over the ages and into my veins.
The project is coming along just fine. It has taken quite a bit of money and time to complete. I will be the first to state, that writing a book of this type, is not for the faint at heart. I will venture off to state that writing a book period, is not for the faint at heart. Nevertheless, the marching continues down the road, and not a yellow brick one.
We have decided to remove the podcast/youtube audio series from this project. We initially wanted to add such. This research and writing portion has taken up the bulk of the time and energy for this project. We wanted to ensure you that those who were interested in this project, would receive the best possible written material from a lay scholarly perspective. We are taking our time to well source and cite what we have learned over the years, as well as what we have learned having gone back over the same and even new material. We desired to place this material in written form instead of audio or other media for now. Video and audio places one in a more passive state, while reading allows one to be in an active state.
We hope to release this material by the end of the year, if not, then it will be early next year. The first book, Volume I : The Life of Benjamin Samuel Brasford, was to introduce you into the life of Ben. The next book will be a much more dense book that needs to be studied and researched during the reading of it. We do indeed hope, that those who are interested, will be well pleased with what we have therein. Until next time……
At this time, there is an estimated 7.47 billion people on this planet. That would account for, ideally, 7.47 billion different ideas, personalities, experiences, and a mixture of similar and different 7.47 billion backgrounds.
We at times come together, for a short while, and at other times a longer while. We are born alone, and we die alone. We still, to date, from my estimation have no real idea of how we got here, and we, in my estimation, have no real idea of what happens after we die. We believe, know, understand and do different things.
In varying degrees, we are different, and the same in many areas. There are no two people who agree across the board on everything. Many of us want others to be like us, who are a part of our lives. There are those of us who welcome the differences and try to work with them.
There are different types of governments, economic systems, educational systems, etc. How do we live in relative ‘harmony’ on a planet with so many differing views and backgrounds? How do we allow differences and at the same time celebrate the similarities without imposition? I don’t have the answers to all of these questions. I’m not so certain that harmony can be obtained all the time. Division and harmony both exist on this planet. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Is all good from good intentions? Is all evil from evil intentions? Some don’t like the terms. To effectively communicate, the ancestors developed writing after languages, in my opinion, to support languages. Along with differing views from individual uniqueness, harmony must be maintained at least some of the time. I have found that the more you study the past, the more you understand the present. The truth is, we haven’t changed as human beings as much as many of us would like to think, over the last several thousand years. Thanks to the physical sciences and the knowledge passed down in books, human behavioral patterns, and the spirit realm, we are able to look back and understand many things.
The important thing is that we keep learning and keep growing. Since we are unaware of the origin as in timing of the beginning of this planet, I have taken the position that we are unsure of it’s ending if it in fact has one. So we move forward.
It amazes me that people are okay with going to the doctor, i.e., a medical doctor for medicinal purposes and other things of course, yet they look down on others who visit psychiatrists and psychologists. What are medical doctors? Are they not experts when it comes to medicine? What are psychiatrists and psychologists? We are, or should be, aware of the fact that Psychiatrists focus on mental illness, while Psychologists focus on human behavior. Human behavior is rooted in biology, which means “The study of living organisms, divided into many specialized fields that cover their morphology, physiology, anatomy, behavior, origin, and distribution.”  Behavior is important when it comes to people. I have learned to not put much merit, if any, on what people say. I have learned that people do what they believe. Belief, in my view, is expressed through actions. Not words. Words are learned through a social context. You hear something that appears good to you or something that you perceive that is good from the person from whom you’ve heard it from. You, in turn, repeat those words because they appear to you or to the person that you are speaking with, in your mind, to have merit. You are doing this to benefit from the particular person’s company in some way for whatever reason.
Why focus so much on behavior? It is because those that lack decent or what is perceived as decent behavior, are said to either be deliberate in their pursuits, or to have a mental illness. Mental illness shows the lack of a personality or capable mind to deal with things in a more normal way. Normal, of course, can be relative based on the current societal context and conditioning. However, that does not negate the fact that “bad” behavior still shows a relationship with some form of mental illness, whether minor or severe. Medicine might help your physical, non-mental illness, but what can it provide for your mental illness, or mental well-being which is rooted in personality? What is personality? Personality is defined by the Oxford Dictionary Online, “The combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual’s distinctive character”. What is character? Character is defined as, “The mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual”. So Psychiatrists focus on the mental part of a person, and the Psychologists focus on the behavior of a person, which is a result of the mental part of a person. What does this say about a person without morals? Could it be that a person that lacks “decent” morals lack good character due to their mental state? I do believe that it is possible that a person who can be made aware, however they can be made AWARE, that they have a problem, in other words, convinced that they need to change something, that they are capable of correcting their problem. They may need help, but they can ultimately change their mental issue. Others, who are unable to be convinced that they, in fact, have a problem, are perhaps unable to change. Perhaps, this is why our mental health professionals, i.e. psychiatrists, state that there is no cure for some common personality disorders, though there are forms of treatment. The specific personalities being, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, etc., are those which are being spoken of. (Association) For example, let’s take a look at Narcisstic Personality Disorder. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition, states that those with Narcisstic Personality Disorder: “A sense of entitlement is evident in these individuals’ unreasonable expectation of especially favorable treatment (Criterion 5). They expect to be catered to and are puzzled or furious when this does not happen. For example, they may assume that they do not have to wait in line and that their priorities are so important that others should defer to them, and then get irritated when others fail to assist “in their very important work.” This sense of entitlement, combined with a lack of sensitivity to the wants and needs of others, may result in the conscious or unwitting exploitation of others (Criterion 6). They expect to be given whatever they want or feel they need, no matter what it might mean to others. For example, these individuals may expect great dedication from others and may overwork them without regard for the impact on their lives. They tend to form friendships or romantic relationships only if the other person seems likely to advance their purposes or otherwise enhance their self-esteem. They often usurp special privileges and extra resources that they believe they deserve because they are so special.” (Association, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders)
Now, from what was stated above concerning treatment being available yet no cure for the above stated mental disorders, I would say that healing begins in the mind. I take the position that if you are unable to be convinced that you have a problem, mental or otherwise; then no healing can come. Accepting that you have an issue is the beginning of the realization that there might be aid somewhere if you in fact desire to receive it, if you decide to search for it, or somehow it comes to you in some other way. It all comes down to choice. But if you are convinced that you are fine where you are, for whatever reason, then nothing will change other than your “condition” will perhaps get worse.
Let’s take a look at a work done by M. Scott Peck, M.D. In his work entitled, “People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil”, he discusses human evil and spiritual evil. There are differences between the two, yet I see that there is also a relationship between them. I understand the “problems” or “issues” that some might have with the concept of good and evil.  Whether you are religious or not, it might help explain things from a different perspective. If one, good or evil, does in fact exist, then there is a possibility that one is the opposite of the other. In the above stated work of M. Scott Peck, M.D., he states that Satan, as a personality, has pride and narcissism. If this is true, then Narcissism can be human and spiritual. One thing related to Satanic Narcissism as explained by Dr. Peck, is that sacrifice is a foreign concept to this particular personality. (Peck) What is sacrifice? Oxford Dictionary Online defines sacrifice as, an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy”. Sacrifice is an act of love, which is defined, “A strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction for someone”, or “A great interest and pleasure in something”. Affection is defined by the Oxford Dictionary Online as, “A gentle feeling of fondness or liking”. In an ideal world, love would mean that if you had that for someone, you would not do anything to harm another person, even if you desire for them to make a decision that you want, though they may not want to make that particular decision. Ask yourself, “Would you harm something that you had a gentle feeling of fondness or liking for”? Would you be adversely affected if someone were willing and did harm you? Would you feel that they “loved” or had a gentle feeling of fondness or liking for you? Lastly, what about the things that you love to do or just love as a thought?
An aspect of science that is discussed by Dr. Peck that I found quite interesting is that he states that one assumes a profound human tendency to self-deception, employs the scientific method to counteract it, and holds truth higher than any personal human desire. (Peck) If what he states about science is in fact true then, perhaps this is why psychiatry and psychology are indeed considered sciences, just as much as medicine, etc.
After much time, it has become apparent to me, due to the cruelty and lack of empathy, sympathy, common decency, and even courtesy in general throughout my own personal life through much experience, that many people, men and women alike, perhaps fall under the categories of personality disorders that are described within the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition, such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It is my opinion, that if you find that this is true after putting in whatever amount of effort that you desire, in developing and maintaining relationships with such people at any capacity, then the best thing for you to do would be perhaps to let them go and move on with your life. A person is made up of their own preferences, views, opinions, feelings, etc. If a person shows lack of compassion for you and refuses to respect you in regards to your own individual preferences, views, opinions, feelings, etc., then they do not truly care about you. They will only bring about destruction in your life. You could perhaps be left with much anger, regret, and disappointment. Your views on life, and people in general could be greatly altered due to encountering such individuals if you are unaware of what you are dealing with and fail to get out of situations with these people as early as possible. I, personally, take the position that if I love you, I will let you go if I have to. Love is about detachment, if necessary. Not control or possession. I will leave you with a quote from Plato’s Phaedo, page 94, section 88. from “The Works of Plato Volume I” A New and Literal Translation, translated by Henry F. Cary, M.A. of Worcester College, Oxford (1892)……
“That we do not become,” he answered, “haters of reasoning as some become haters of men; for no greater evil can happen to any one than to hate reasoning. 88. But hatred of reasoning and hatred of mankind both spring from the same source. For hatred of mankind is produced in us from having placed too great reliance on some one without sufficient knowledge of him, and from having considered him to be a man altogether true, sincere, and faithful, and then after a little while finding him depraved and unfaithful, and after him another. And when a man has often experienced this, and especially from those whom he considered his most intimate and best friends, at length, having frequently stumbled, he hates all men, and thinks that there is no soundness at all in any of them. Have you not perceived that this happens so ?”
“Certainly,” I replied.
“Is it not a shame ?” he said, ” and is it not evident that such a one attempts to deal with men, without sufficient knowledge of human affairs ? For if he had dealt with them with competent knowledge, as the case really is, so he would have considered that the good and the bad are each very few in number, and that those between both are most numerous.”
 Ibid. “Accept that (something) is true, especially without proof” “Hold (something) as an opinion; think”
 Ibid. “The circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood”
 Oxford Dictionary Online defines, as a philosophy, Concept as, “An idea or mental image which corresponds to some distinct entity or class of entities, or to its essential features, or determines the application of a term (especially a predicate), and thus plays a part in the use of reason or language”
Association, American Psychiatric. “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.” Association, American Psychiatric. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Washington, D.C.: American Psychiactric Association, 2013. 670. Book.
—. Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders Fifth Edition. Washington, D.C.: American Psychiatric Association, 2013. Book.
Peck, M. Scott. “Of Possession and Excorcism.” Peck, M. Scott. People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil. New York: Touchstone, 1983. 208-09. Book.
As a child, we are at our most vulnerable, having to lean upon our parents for everything. We are innocent, we are impressionable, and we are most needy. The care that our parents take to rear us is paramount and can have long lasting effects, many of which will not only be difficult to mitigate, but some of which may never be dealt with or reversed. Some psychiatrists and psychologists state that the first seven years, give or take, in the development of the child are so vital that it has lasting effects on that child’s personality. Once the personality is set, there’s little that can be done to alter it. It would take a strong adult, who realizes that they have flaws, which must also be coupled with the willingness to want to improve. This, being self-development, is one of the most difficult challenges many face daily. Some throw in the towel and accept their lot as they see it.
B, while a young child, unfortunately, underwent what many young children go through, all over the world. Child molestation. One of B’s family members, whom he was trusted be in the care of from time to time, began engaging in this behavior with B from a very young age. This behavior, child molestation, lasted for quite some time, even into B’s early adolescence. All children are affected differently by being molested, i.e., fondled, etc., by a family member whom you are supposed to trust.
Some time later, into B’s mid to later adolescence, B would share this information with his parents. All too often happens, is the denial of the parents of their children’s being taken advantage of in this way. B would remind one of his parents of the fact that he told them this years before, and like clockwork, they denied ever having been told that. B, as a parent at that time, understood the stance of his parent. It is indeed a tough thing to accept that you failed your child directly or indirectly, by placing them in someone’s care, who chooses to engage is such behavior. However, therefore this behavior persists in so many families, communities, etc. No one is adult enough to deal with it. And far too many times, time passes and dealing with well after the fact becomes almost what would seem a misnomer.
It would take B some time to heal from this happening to him. It affected his early manhood and played a major yet negative factor in his dealings with his, at the time, wife. But B, having the determination and will to face the fact that he was deficient in areas, decided to begin his self-development. He decided to take responsibility and finish his own growth process. It is a process.
I have heard over the years that people feel like they deserve a certain kind of mate.People have felt as though that they wanted specific things in a mate, and whether they were willing to become what that desired mate wanted was another issue that was rarely discussed.While we all may desire certain traits in a significant other, there is a concept discussed in the Rationale Male, written by Rollo Tomassi, called the sexual marketplace.The sexual marketplace consists of men and women who are rated on a scale from 1 to 10, which determines their level on the sexual market value scale. This is spoken of in the Manosphere as well. Rollo Tomassi in the forward to his latest work, “The Rational Male: Positive Masculinity”, defines the Manosphere as an online community of men that spans the globe and seeks to develop a better understanding of masculinity, the nature of women and how best to develop oneself with this collective knowledge.The Manosphere in general is somewhat a male opposition to some of the negative tenants of feminism.Depending on where one may fit, that will determine what they can reasonably expect to get for their own personal place on that scale.A person’s sexual market value has to do with things such as age, looks, and other things to include status, and mental capacity.Generally, looks is the first thing since that is what we see.
With all this discussion about marketplace, let’s compare dating and mating to a marketplace of say goods and/or services.Let’s stick with goods on this one.Ideally, a person looks at price first when buying food, cars, homes, clothes, etc.When one goes to a food market, one who likes healthier food and takes time to read the ingredients on the label, they are looking for the healthiest food based on those ingredients for the best price.Dating and mating is a market where people in general, want someone with a sexual market value like theirs or higher.This, again, is first based on looks.So, people in general want someone who looks like them or better.The issue comes in when people want what they want in a mate, whether they want to date and mate or just mate, but they feel as if they don’t have to bring anything or should be allowed to bring less to the table.The dating and mating scene is a market.It is not a place where you should feel like you can get what you want because you deserve it or you’re entitled to getting it.The other person is giving up something just as you are.
It is said by some that a woman’s prime is from the ages of 18 to 27, give or take a year or so, and a man’s prime is from the ages of 35 to 45, give or take a year or so.So, at times, older men go after younger women, which makes sense since a man’s prime comes later than a woman’s.There are times too, when an older woman will have an interest in a younger man. Regardless of this, dating and mating should be looked at, in my view, as the survival of the fittest.No one is guaranteed anything on the dating scene.According to Howard Bloom in “The Lucifer Principle”, the average man has mated with only a few women.With all that said, women are the gatekeepers to sex, since non-consensual sex with a woman is rape, and men are the gatekeepers to relationships and marriage, since no woman can enter a relationship and marriage if there is no willing man.A 5 on the sexual market value scale from 1 to 10 can expect to get a 5 at best.That individual getting a 6 in a mate is pushing it.But it also depends on that potential mate and the value that they see in that 5.So, if the pool of available mates for any number on the sexual market value scale is undesirable by that number, then that person has a choice to either change their views or remain single.We are attracted to what we are attracted to.However, we are not entitled to have what we are attracted to.A 5 on the sexual market value scale may want a 10.But, that will more than likely not happen.So that 5 will either accept and be happy with a 5, or lower their expectations.Unless a 6 or a 7 is willing, that 5 will probably have to remain single.
As we all age, for the most part, our sexual market value will decline.So, at some time we may want to sit down and decide what’s important.Or at least, what’s more important.If you are someone who desires to have a mate, this may not be what you have wanted to read.In my view, we are not entitled even to the air that we’re breathing.What makes some of us think that we are entitled to any particular mate?That’s not my call to make.But these are my thoughts.