As a child, we are at our most vulnerable, having to lean upon our parents for everything. We are innocent, we are impressionable, and we are most needy. The care that our parents take to rear us is paramount and can have long lasting effects, many of which will not only be difficult to mitigate, but some of which may never be dealt with or reversed. Some psychiatrists and psychologists state that the first seven years, give or take, in the development of the child are so vital that it has lasting effects on that child’s personality. Once the personality is set, there’s little that can be done to alter it. It would take a strong adult, who realizes that they have flaws, which must also be coupled with the willingness to want to improve. This, being self-development, is one of the most difficult challenges many face daily. Some throw in the towel and accept their lot as they see it.
B, while a young child, unfortunately, underwent what many young children go through, all over the world. Child molestation. One of B’s family members, whom he was trusted be in the care of from time to time, began engaging in this behavior with B from a very young age. This behavior, child molestation, lasted for quite some time, even into B’s early adolescence. All children are affected differently by being molested, i.e., fondled, etc., by a family member whom you are supposed to trust.
Some time later, into B’s mid to later adolescence, B would share this information with his parents. All too often happens, is the denial of the parents of their children’s being taken advantage of in this way. B would remind one of his parents of the fact that he told them this years before, and like clockwork, they denied ever having been told that. B, as a parent at that time, understood the stance of his parent. It is indeed a tough thing to accept that you failed your child directly or indirectly, by placing them in someone’s care, who chooses to engage is such behavior. However, therefore this behavior persists in so many families, communities, etc. No one is adult enough to deal with it. And far too many times, time passes and dealing with well after the fact becomes almost what would seem a misnomer.
It would take B some time to heal from this happening to him. It affected his early manhood and played a major yet negative factor in his dealings with his, at the time, wife. But B, having the determination and will to face the fact that he was deficient in areas, decided to begin his self-development. He decided to take responsibility and finish his own growth process. It is a process.