As a child, we are at our most vulnerable, having to lean upon our parents for everything. We are innocent, we are impressionable, and we are most needy. The care that our parents take to rear us is paramount and can have long lasting effects, many of which will not only be difficult to mitigate, but some of which may never be dealt with or reversed. Some psychiatrists and psychologists state that the first seven years, give or take, in the development of the child are so vital that it has lasting effects on that child’s personality. Once the personality is set, there’s little that can be done to alter it. It would take a strong adult, who realizes that they have flaws, which must also be coupled with the willingness to want to improve. This, being self-development, is one of the most difficult challenges many face daily. Some throw in the towel and accept their lot as they see it.
While a young child, I, unfortunately, underwent what many young children go through, all over the world. Child molestation. One of my family members, whose care that I was entrusted to from time to time, began engaging in this behavior with me from a very young age. This behavior lasted into my early adolescent years. All children are affected differently by being molested, i.e., fondled, etc.
Some time later, into my mid to later adolescence, I shared this information with my parents. As it happens all too often, the denial of the parents of their children’s being taken advantage of in this way. I reminded one of my parents of this fact, and like clockwork, they denied ever having been told this information. I, as a parent at the time that I reminded them, understood the stance of this parent. It is indeed a tough thing to accept that you have failed your child directly or indirectly, by placing them in someone’s care, who chooses to engage is such behavior. However, therefore this behavior persists in so many families, communities, etc. Few seem adult enough to deal with it. And far too many times, time passes and dealing with it well after the fact becomes almost what would seem a misnomer.
It would take me some time to heal from these experiences. It affected my early manhood and played a major yet negative factor in my dealings with my then spouse. But I, having the determination and will to face the fact that I was deficient in some areas, decided to begin my self-development. I decided to take responsibility and further my own growth process. After all, it is a process.