The Work Volume III – The Balancing Act between Men ≠ Women


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                In an effort to piggyback off from the “B’s Epiphany on Dating and Mating”, we decided to do a detour from the exploration of human history related writing, to expand the discussion on human relationships with specific focus on male and female intersexual dynamics.  We will take a more exhaustive approach on this subject from the standpoint of the social sciences.  Historically we will incorporate evolution, human psychology, sexuality, cognitive processes, marriage, dating, and perhaps an analysis to see where things may go moving forward in history.

 

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                Terms and concepts from the Manosphere will be utilized as well in this next work.  This work will include scholarly referenced material as well as life experience from ourselves and from the observation from the lives of others.  We have learned quite a bit about the topic of human mating and human nature in general in relation to what drives the human race as a whole to keep moving despite the societal, cultural, economic, political and environmental changes. 

 

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                Interviews with men and women will be conducted as well and incorporated into the work.  We believe that utilizing different angles on these topics to bring home the main focus of the work will provide the audience with more than enough to continue the human mating and nature exploration. 

 

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              At the end of the day, whether you are dating, married, or decide to remain celibate, understanding your own and the opposite gender, can be beneficial in life overall.  Nature is neither good nor evil.  It just is.   

 

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The Journey Part II

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Living life is difficult enough. Writing about that life is an entirely different issue. Over the years, I had thought that I was a fairly decent communicator. I subsequently realized that I was not as good as a communicator as I thought. I was a very good English student in grade school as well as in college. After many years of reading various different types of material, I had learned how to communicate well from reading other people’s words.

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It wasn’t until my first editing experience, that I realized that I was not as good a writer as I had thought. I thought that I had gone through enough red markings and need for corrections during grade school and college. I later found out that the learning process of writing is never truly over.

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It is one thing to place your thoughts via words onto paper, whether written or typed. It is another thing to be able to properly follow the basic rules of English. The one thing that I did have going for me was the fact that I was at the very least consistent. That consistency aided me in knowing that not all hope in being a writer was over. We are all good at some things. Other things we are not so good at. When you are honest with yourself, you can then realize that you need assistance. I may be many things and many things I accept that I am. One thing that I am not is afraid to admit when I am not good enough in one area or another.

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I had learned over the years that life is for the living. No matter how much you talk to others, how many books you read, how many things that you may think you know, experience is the best teacher. Experience is the qualifier or disqualifier. You will know what you are good at when it works for you consistently. It may not work always, but if it works the majority of the time, that will give you the confidence that you are good at it. Conversely,[1] you will know that you are not good at something when it consistently does not work for you. It is a way to let you know that perhaps you should try something else.

I am always willing to learn from others and do my very best to take others seriously. Especially if it is clear that they know well what they are doing. I do my best to learn from others’ mistakes as much as possible so that I can preserve my life as much as possible. Once you have been through some tough situations in life, you begin to look for opportunities to ensure that you will no longer waste time, effort, and money.

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As the last stages of Volume II of the Work culminates,[2] I have learned so much over the years about life. I have learned so much about people and how they work. This is a life long process. I do not in any way believe that I know all that there is to know about people. I don’t think that there is any we can know all that there is about anything in one lifetime. I do know much more about life and people than I knew before.

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I had no idea that during this journey I would through perusing the various material that I did, that I would stumble upon the focal point leading to understanding people. I had thought that this study was to learn about myself and what happens after we leave here, or at the very least the meaning of life. I do not attest[3] to know what the meaning of life is. I am still learning just as I am sure that many others, if not all of us, are doing so.

[1] Conversely – Introducing a statement or idea which reverses one that has just been made or referred to. Oxford Dictionary Online.

[2] Culminate – Reach a climax or point of highest development. Oxford Dictionary Online.

[3] Attest – Declare that something exists or is the case. Oxford Dictionary Online.

The Journey Part I

 

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Later than many would like too, I began attending college during a career shift, in my early thirties.  I had no idea that I would aspire to write about what I had begun learning by the time my exploration into religion and history began.  I was more concerned with learning on my own, in my own way, than one day taking time to sit and write about it.  While attending college courses, juggling a family, and attending church occasionally, I would study religion and history instead of focusing on my college studies.  All of this was quite a difficult feat to take on, which is why my family would later dissolve.  Once the house of morals began to fail (the idea of church being the teacher and demonstrator of what is right and honorable), other things began to fail as well.  This is not to say that I am not a moral person.  What changed in regard to my morals at the time was the focus.  All through the day and many hours into the late night, I would be searching for answers.  Unlearning what I had learned and re-learning.  In agony at times, and in tears at others, I marched through the material that I began acquiring over time. 
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Not only did I read the subject matter of the books that I had obtained, but I had began contacting the authors of those books to ask questions.  Some of those authors, I would talk to via e-mail while others I would talk to through social media.  I would eventually get the phone numbers of some of the authors while others I would develop quasi-relationships that still lasts today.  I took an out of the box approach in my studies mainly because I was not attending college for religious and historical studies.  I went to college for entirely different subject matter and into an entirely different field of study.  One of the major things that helped me become better at reading and understanding difficult subjects was through the practice of while reading utilizing dictionaries and asking questions.  I would listen to podcasts from various authors, lecturers, and even scholars for several hours daily.  I was also a very good English student all through high school and even in college.  I learned to listen to people and since I naturally have a photographic memory, I learned that I had the ability to retain information more so than the average person.  I never forget much, and if I do forget something temporarily, it somehow always at a later time crept back into my conscious. 

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The more time that you put into anything right, wrong or indifferent, the better you become at it.  Diligence is key to becoming a master instead of just a jack of the trades.  My quest for understanding grounded me in the determination that I had to learn and the amount of intelligence that I had naturally, which I was largely unaware of for most of my life, is what perhaps sealed the deal on me grasping the information and being able to speak from the top of my head at a moments notice.  It seemed that those late nights reading the bible and practicing scripture memorization (I had for a time memorized verbatim two scriptures daily) was just a peak into what I would be doing many years later. 

 

There was not a single author that I contacted that did not at the very least get back to me if for no other time but once.  Just like then, even now I care about getting as close to the source as possible.  The horses mouth if you will.  So, if I was going to be wrong, then that would mean that the person who I was reading and using in my own source material had to be wrong as well. I had learned how to separate my opinion and leave it out of the discussions when it came to explaining another’s position, whether I agreed with them or not. 

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Over time as I began to share with those that were close to me what I had learned, I was disheartened to know that many of them were not interested in the same things.  It took some time to accept this reality.  Everything is not for everyone.  The mundane just didn’t interest me anymore nor did the latest trends in fashion, movies, etc.  I, then, began to look at life from a different perspective.  Everything became serious.  Except for some of the most important responsibilities that I had.  Too much of anything is not good and not enough of what should be is just as bad.  I take full responsibility for my decisions and I don’t make excuses for what I have done, nor do now.  I accepted that the people that I had wronged for whatever reason have every right to tell me to go to hell or treat me like a stranger.  I understood and understand that.  I included that within my analysis after some time.  They owe me nothing and at the end of the day I knew that that door swings in both directions. 

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Due to taking this new path, most things just no longer mattered.  If they no longer mattered, then talking about them, stressing over them, complaining about them made little sense.  If it doesn’t matter, then it doesn’t matter.  In an effort to remain relatable with others to some degree, I would force myself to remain aware with what was going on in the world.  So, I utilized my ability to find those who knew more or less what they were talking about when it came to the major issues.  We all have limitations.  But some people are ‘expert’ in some matters so to speak.  When it comes to the environment and what direction the world is going, I kept up with economics, politics (national and geopolitical), real estate, male and female relationships, religion, and occasionally sports.  There were other subjects of course that I kept up with as well.  I developed a care for knowing what’s going on around me and in the broader society.  Some things we have solutions for and others we do not.  Some things we have to accept that they are that way and there is little that we can do about it.  We have to accept those things.  No matter how good we have it, some things we are going to have to deal with, whether we like them or not.  Perfection is obtainable in some things, good or bad, and other things just take longer to tackle. 

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I ended up losing many friends and walked away from many relationships if those did not end because the other person chose to end it.  We all grow differently.  Trust, too, is a fragile thing.  It can be easily broken, and some people are just not for each other for one reason or another.  In my relationships with women, I found that in general, we just did not want the same things out of life.  After having been married for many years, time becomes a much more precious and expensive commodity.  The last thing I want to do is hold anyone back and I sure abhor being held back, myself.  We all come to our own conclusions and there is little change in regard to anyone unless major life events take place.  Perhaps the next time around, if there is in fact another one, will be different.  Perhaps better.

 

Studying the Past

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             Studying the past had become a most interesting thing for me over the years.  Once I realized that human beings have not changed within the last 100,000+ years, it brought me to the realization that we are not better, or worse for that matter, than our closer or distant ancestors.  We are very much them, with different environmental conditions, technology, language, etc.  Some would like to think that we know more than those in the past or are better.  I have found this not to be so.

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                Many of us still seek to be fulfilled in the different areas of our lives, even in the same ways.  Culture, I found, is paramount in how we deal with one another, regardless of ethnicity.  Culture is far too important to ignore.  Along with culture, a premise is needed to operate from that can give us a basic understanding of respect, trust, and safety in dealing with one another.  That is why government was important as well.  To ensure that the basic rights of people, not be violated at will.  The beauty of the idea of America, United States, as a free society, is freedom of association, freedom to choose one’s own path in life.  We have the freedom to deal with one another, and the freedom not too.  Freedom brings a certain level of responsibility as well.  If one person’s expression of freedom doesn’t infringe upon another’s expression of freedom, then we should have no problem living in relative ‘harmony.’  Whether or not this plays out, well, you decide.

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                In the writings, monuments, and other relics from the past, we have a window into the lives of those who have gone before us.  Whether we are reincarnated, as some believed, or not, one understanding was the passing on of genes, i.e., offspring.  If people could reproduce, they could have a certain level of comfort knowing that they would live on through their offspring.  The mating games today are no different than in the past.  We see it play out all the time.  Many of our laws are biologically driven.  One thing that I found out over the years, is that no matter what your spiritual preference or otherwise, it will never account for or trump biology.  Self-preservation is more of a reality than many would like to sit down, think about, and admit.  Our ancestors were no different.

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                Peace is something many say that they want.  Yet, when you study the past, the only time peace came, was after a period of war.  Some believe that violence will cease to exist.  I am of opinion, that there will be periods where violence will increase and periods where it will decrease.  But if nature is a duality as some of the ancestors suggested, then you cannot have one without the other.

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                In learning through studying the past, I have had the privilege of being able to look back over my own life, have experiences to test my learning, and have come to many realizations about life.  You cannot get it all in one life.  Perhaps therefore some of the ancestors believed that we had to come back.  Or another reason could be that they were afraid of dying so that they had to create something in their minds to help them cope with the fact that they one day will have to pass on like those before them.  Some teach against defense mechanisms.  I believe that some mechanisms are healthy, while others are not.  I still hold true to myself what M. Scott Peck stated in “The Road Less Travelled” and in “People of the Lie: The Hope for Healing Human Evil”,

 

             “Mental health is the ongoing dedication to reality at all costs”

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                I had seen where some ancestors state that the world and time were created together, and that time would cease to exist when/if the world ceased to exist.  I had seen some modern ones’ state that time is not real or to be regarded as important.  If it is true that time isn’t real, then one would have to accept that the past, present and future are the same and that studying the past is key to understanding that.  Regardless of this, the past is too important to ignore in my estimation of things.  I have escaped many ills, saved much time and money, and have become a better person overall while studying the past.  The past records have everything concerning the lives of those who lived before us.  It’s not just about reading history.  No, it’s about learning what was important to those before us as to why they went through all the trouble to pass it down to us, even to the point of death.  If someone was willing to give their life for me to know something, then I think it is more than admirable to see what they had to say.  Especially if it’s a chance that that person or persons blood has travelled over the ages and into my veins. 

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Update on the Project…..The Work Volume II

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The project is coming along just fine. It has taken quite a bit of money and time to complete. I will be the first to state, that writing a book of this type, is not for the faint at heart. I will venture off to state that writing a book period, is not for the faint at heart. Nevertheless, the marching continues down the road, and not a yellow brick one.

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We have decided to remove the podcast/youtube audio series from this project. We initially wanted to add such. This research and writing portion has taken up the bulk of the time and energy for this project. We wanted to ensure you that those who were interested in this project, would receive the best possible written material from a lay scholarly perspective. We are taking our time to well source and cite what we have learned over the years, as well as what we have learned having gone back over the same and even new material. We desired to place this material in written form instead of audio or other media for now. Video and audio places one in a more passive state, while reading allows one to be in an active state.

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We hope to release this material by the end of the year, if not, then it will be early next year. The first book, Volume I : The Life of Benjamin Samuel Brasford, was to introduce you into the life of Ben. The next book will be a much more dense book that needs to be studied and researched during the reading of it. We do indeed hope, that those who are interested, will be well pleased with what we have therein. Until next time……

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Always Forward, Never Reverse

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At this time, there is an estimated 7.47 billion people on this planet.[1] That would account for, ideally, 7.47 billion different ideas, personalities, experiences, and a mixture of similar and different 7.47 billion backgrounds.

We at times come together, for a short while, and at other times a longer while. We are born alone, and we die alone. We still, to date, from my estimation have no real idea of how we got here, and we, in my estimation, have no real idea of what happens after we die. We believe, know, understand and do different things.

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In varying degrees, we are different, and the same in many areas. There are no two people who agree across the board on everything. Many of us want others to be like us, who are a part of our lives. There are those of us who welcome the differences and try to work with them.

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There are different types of governments, economic systems, educational systems, etc. How do we live in relative ‘harmony’ on a planet with so many differing views and backgrounds? How do we allow differences and at the same time celebrate the similarities without imposition? I don’t have the answers to all of these questions. I’m not so certain that harmony can be obtained all the time. Division and harmony both exist on this planet. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Is all good from good intentions? Is all evil from evil intentions? Some don’t like the terms. To effectively communicate, the ancestors developed writing after languages, in my opinion, to support languages. Along with differing views from individual uniqueness, harmony must be maintained at least some of the time. I have found that the more you study the past, the more you understand the present. The truth is, we haven’t changed as human beings as much as many of us would like to think, over the last several thousand years. Thanks to the physical sciences and the knowledge passed down in books, human behavioral patterns, and the spirit realm, we are able to look back and understand many things.

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The important thing is that we keep learning and keep growing. Since we are unaware of the origin as in timing of the beginning of this planet, I have taken the position that we are unsure of it’s ending if it in fact has one. So we move forward.

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[1] https://www.census.gov/popclock/world